Cynical Parent

A baby speaking its first word(s) is often viewed as one of the key milestones in its first 9-14 months of existence.

Which means, as a parent, you’ve spent nearly a year being babbled at.

It’s cute and all, but you’re dying for some real conversation with your infant child. The babbling has taken a toll on your vocabulary as the gibberish nonsense has now become a part of your daily conversation.

Even the dog looks confused.

Naturally, some parents try to speed up the process and even attempt influence their baby’s first words (see Jimmy Fallon’s book, Dada).

Can you actually influence a baby’s first words? And should you?

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Designing a new baby room is definitely one of those fun things that couples get to work on together prior to a baby’s birth.  From colors, to furniture, to overall style – there’s definitely a lot of room for creativity.

My wife and I had a pretty unique situation, in that our future baby room was, at the time…

…occupied by a bunny.

Yes, you read that correctly.

Our pet bunny had its own room.  That’s what happens when you move into a three bedroom condo and don’t have kids for a few years.

So, on top of the usual room designing tasks, we had one extra step: find a new place for the bunny to live.  I won’t bore you with those details, because chances are, you don’t have to deal with this exact scenario.

Regardless of what your situation is, however, you are probably looking to fully transform the current space.  And in doing so, there are some important factors you will want to think about.

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Parents, regardless of experience, are prone to making mistakes.  Raising a human being is not easy.

Without too much exaggeration, every little thing you do as a parent can (but not necessarily will) shape your child in some way.

It can be especially terrifying as a new parent.  You know, frantically Googling every little thing.

What the hell did people do before Google?

The good news is, most mistakes that new parents make are not fatal.  You learn from each issue that comes up and eventually parenthood isn’t terribly daunting.

The more problematic mistakes are the more common ones that tend to repeat and persist.

And half the reason that they’re common and problematic is because you don’t even realize you’re making a mistake.

So what are the most common mistakes of new parents?

Keep reading, and I’ll tell you…

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It’s a silly question, but I think it’s one that many couples debate. Even if the question itself is never explicitly asked out loud, it’s a real consideration for a lot of couples.

And it isn’t always “puppy or baby,” but more often: “Which one should come first?”

If you want a dog and want a baby, chances are you will end up with both at some point. Instead of trying out which should come first, should you simply declare “I want to make my life as difficult as possible” and go for both simultaneously?

What I’ve typically seen (anecdotally) is that couples like to first get a puppy, then have a baby.

It’s just good prep, right?

Let’s examine the merits of all options…

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Most expenses that we incur for our children are absolutely necessary.

Food? Check.

Clothes? Check.

Housing? Check.

Diapers? Debatable…

Okay, fine, they’re necessary too.

But there’s one thing you’ll find on many parents’ lists that isn’t quite as critical: saving for a college education.

Conventional parenting advice would tell you that saving for a college education is a prudent decision that you’d be crazy to go against. After all, how can you expect your child to get a good college education if you don’t pay for it? [insert sarcastic tone]

Look, I get it. Paying for a child’s college education puts them in a good economic position when they graduate debt-free, and allows them to focus on their studies while in school without worrying about working to pay for tuition.

That’s all great, in a perfect world where you have lots of money and your son or daughter is internally motivated to get a college education.  But it’s not a perfect world.

And remember, I’m here to occasionally take a contrarian view on certain issues.

So let’s get into it.

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As you probably already know, a pregnant woman can find out the gender of her baby via ultrasound between 16 and 20 weeks into the pregnancy.

This tends to bring up the debate of:

Should I find out the gender of my baby?

This really isn’t a life or death decision by any means.  

It’s a personal preference.  

It’s between you and your spouse, and it’s a decision that really affects no one but the both of you.

With that said, I have a few thoughts on it…

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If you’re anything like us, you decided it would be a good idea to get a puppy before you started trying to conceive your first child.

After all, raising your first baby isn’t difficult enough. You like a good challenge and you were excited about the prospect of not only changing diapers, but walking a dog and cleaning up dog poop.

And keeping dog toys separate from baby toys.  And keeping the dog from attacking the baby.

YES!

You thought of all these things and getting a puppy still seemed like an AMAZING idea.

[cue the whomp-whomp-whomp downer music]

Don’t worry, I’m right there with you in the oh-shit-we-didn’t-really-think-this-through department.

Okay, so, the baby is on the way.  The puppy is maturing into a not-so-terrible dog, but still has plenty of crazy puppy tendencies.

At least, that’s how ours is.

And now you’re wondering how to get your dog ready for a baby.

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